States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
