i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
