Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize