everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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