sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
