As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
