people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
