just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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