I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Randomize