I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
