if i can run in heels then i can drive
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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