No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
