Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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