you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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