if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
