I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Damn victory sex feels great
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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