Come see our sink grown plant.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
