covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
