I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
