dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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