we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
