He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize