My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Randomize
