super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
