All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
