whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
