First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
im six kinds of drunk right now
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
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You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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