you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Sober January is a disaster.
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According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
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you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
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