I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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