Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
