I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
is this the sara with the beer cane?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
