I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
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I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
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Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'm always down for nudity.
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