Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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