at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
