I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
And then he peed in my hair
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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