They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
