security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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