someone get that fucking seahorse.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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