No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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