TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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