I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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