I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
