Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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