well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
