I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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