She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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