What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
