We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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