3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
