that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
