i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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