I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
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