She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
