Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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