I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
