Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
