I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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